Lemonade

Last Sunday afternoon landed me smack in the middle of an interesting (at least to me) intersection.

Because we both were working on different ventures in different locations and had to miss the Friday night soiree of the century, my husband and I delivered some Spiderman accoutrement to our four-year old grandson to augment his already impressive collective of Spiderman cars, clothing, racetracks, fastest-shoes-on-the-planet, and now, beach towels.

Post-visit we were out tootling around when we ended up in a conversation with someone we had never met about drug sales.

Legal drug sales. The kind of drugs that save lives.

The seller in question is a born and bred rural Kentucky guy. In his early twenties life took an unexpected turn. A baby was on the way, so he dropped out of school and went to work (responsible rural Kentucky guy).

Years later he made it back to school and got his degree at the now ripe old age of thirty-something.

He wound up in pharmaceutical sales for a large company (one whose name you would know if I could remember it). And he’s still at it, even though he’s older than we are, which means legitimate retirement age.

The drug he sells is for a handful of patients in the world. People who suffer from an aggressive, multiple mutation form of leukemia that is tough to cure. He knows the people he calls “his” patients by name and location. Knows where they are in their treatment. Knows when he loses one.

The whole time we were talking I was thinking about my sister-in-law. She was beautiful, brunette, funny, could belch like a truck driver, and had the sweet sense of humor of someone you like to have around.

Valerie (16) at Dairy Queen, Madisonville

And we lost her way too young (forty-one) to, you guessed it, leukemia. I can’t remember her diagnosis but I know she had two kinds. Aggressive. Thirty-five years ago they joined forces to do their untimely number on her.

We said goodbye to our sales rep and turned the corner to see a red pickup truck in our driveway. Guess who it was?

Our brother-in-law, who lives ninety miles away. The patient partner who lost his wife thirty-five years ago to leukemia, come to town to see his daughter and grandchildren, but stopped to see my husband.

Laughter, backslapping, a few jokes, then he pulled out of the driveway en route to a family lunch. And I was thinking about drugs, disease, and losing people we shouldn’t have to lose. Not yet.

Later, I went for a walk. Before I had gone even half a mile I came across two enterprising young fellows selling lemonade.

I’m always a sucker for young entrepreneurs and believe it or not, had a little cash in my pocket (something which never occurs). I bought a cup and had another conversation.

This time about an eighth grader’s choice of reading material.

I was drawn to the cover immediately because I could tell it was non-fiction. What eighth grader willingly chooses to read non-fiction?

This one does.

I said, “Oh, hey! Isn’t that about the drug people?”

He smiled in the affirmative. I asked how it was and he said “Pretty interesting,” and I thought, yeah, I’m sure it is. Very interesting, and, most likely, frightening.

I bid them farewell and headed off on my way, thinking again about drugs and disease and the people who sell those drugs.

I know enough to know the Sacklers are considered evil.

I know enough to know they may very well be.

And I also know I wish my sister-in-law could have had that drug thirty-five years ago.

Would it have targeted her disease? I don’t know what I don’t know about drugs and disease and how it all works.

Should the rest of us pay the price for a drug that only impacts a handful of people worldwide?

Not touching that one with a ten-foot pole.

Should drug makers make money? Yeah, some. Billions? Probably not.

Should the decision makers make better decisions about how that world of drug research, manufacture, and sales is regulated? You bet.

But I know one country boy from Kentucky who has made a good life and cares for every single one of the people who use his drug.

I know of one girl from small-town Kentucky I wish had better drugs a long time ago.

And, I know two kids out making some money on a sunny Sunday afternoon with big plans to contribute to our local economy when they buy “clothes and hats and maybe some shoes”.

At least one of those kids is a thinker and a reader and a doer, and that gives me a lot of hope.

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Serious Business in a Ray of Sun

Yesterday afternoon I drove home after five nights at a silent retreat. No television, no WiFi.

When I say silent, I mean S-I-L-E-N-T. So silent I’m now practically screaming the word at you.

I have never been anywhere so dedicated to quiet, and I was nervous going in. I come from the land of decibels and chaos. So many people talking at once it would take an MIT physicist to sort out all those particles of string holding us together so loudly.

Even if a lot of that noise is in my own mind these days.

I thought it might take a couple of days for me to adjust and reap the benefits I hoped to find. Wrong. I got there within the hour of my arrival.

First, and really only, rule of the place: Silence Please. That’s what the sign said when I drove in. And the little notebook that welcomed me said it also, in even more specific terms: no cell phone use outside your domicile, and no human-to-human conversations out there, either. Just nod and smile, and move on.

At first that felt rude. Then, it was liberating. And thought provoking in the best sort of way.

Did I have any life altering realizations that are going to put me on the Dalai Lama road map to perpetual fame? No.

But I did take the time to see just how much the trees leaf out in a five day span if you’re looking out the exact same window for enough minutes of those days.

I heard, really heard, birdsong for the first time in years. What a wonderful thing birdsong is. How about birds in general?

And tree limbs, arcing and curving and bending their way into the sky.

Or just the singular sky, for that matter?

In the middle of all this silence and birdwatching and thinking about life, I realized that some of the happiest faces I have seen lately have been those of the astronauts and the folks in the control room who powered them out there into the cosmic wild.

Pure joy, from so many collective dreams come true. So much hard work realized in the best sort of way.

Easter Sunday I sat between two people rather vociferously and opposedly talking about the war while I had my phone pressed to one ear and my other hand stuffing the other so I could hear astronaut Victor Glover share his message of unity and hope from so far away my brain can’t even comprehend it. Even in the midst of the noise I could hear him, mainly because I needed to hear it.

It was like the universe calling out from the far reaches of darkness,  “Hey, silence please. Pay attention for a freaking second. You guys have got it all wrong. Just love each other. It ain’t that hard.”

And we’re all down here scurrying around, in our blessed ray of sun, acting like we’ve got it all figured out. We don’t. I’m not sure our brains were formed with the capacity to really ever figure it all out, and maybe that’s part of the gift, too.

Life is serious business. It sure is. For every single human soul engaged in it.

But it’s gorgeous and funny and wonderful, too.

Sometimes it’s a foal born at 3:00 in the morning and your daughter accidentally butt dials you, and you wake up to a missed call and you’re terrified because you think it’s an emergency, but really it’s just the awesome news that she’s been over there helping that mama and her mama’s number is still pulled up in her phone.

So you can’t go back to sleep but you do get to think about all the good stuff in the middle of the night, and be grateful for the ray of sun, for the birds, even, on most days, for the noise.

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